#7 Blackberries

For the Hill Person, the Holy Grail of metrics to career success is the mighty Blackberry. Not issued to entry-level staff assistant, these life-consuming gadgets are worn on the hip as a badge of honor of the seasoned Hill Person. If the demands of one's job dictate that they need be available outside of normal working hours, a Blackberry is bestowed upon that chosen one, and they are deemed irreplaceable and indispensable (at least among the population willing to work for under $50 thousand a year).

Unfortunately, this telling sign of a Hill Pro doesn't hold the validity that it once did, as younger, less experienced Hill People are now funding their own Blackberry use (with Their Parents' Money). Granted, they may only be able to access their Gmail on these personal Blackberries, as typical offices will not allow internal email to be forwarded to other devices. Still, nothing says importance like a stranger in a blazer, leaning against the bar, drink to the side because he is using both hands to type. Ask him for his business card!

And if you need an example of just how fluid the joys of a Hill Person are, Gchat is available on Blackberries. Trapped on the tunnel train with Chris Dodd? Now you can update your status message immediately ("OMG he coulda been president!") Slow pace of a tour group of senior citizens slowing you down? Take a break and let all your g-friends that you feel "Ugh."

Chatting with friends and checking your personal email never looked so professional. And unlike the damned iPhone, nobody will question your relevance and importance in Saving America with an Blackberry -- because a Blackberry is business up front, and a fun party in the back. Like a mullet.