#5 Recess

When you were in grade school, you loved recess. It was that time during the day to take a break from work and run around the playground like a crazed pre-adderall maniac. Well, imagine that same situation at your job today, add alcohol which probably wasn't present at your childhood recess (assuming you're not from the South), and you normal people can begin to get a vague idea of how glorious recess is for Hill People.

Recess occurs between sessions of Congress, and is so celebrated by Hill People because there is literally nothing to do. There are no bills to be passed and fewer meetings to be taken. The boss rarely makes an appearance in the office. The official work day is shortened to 5 PM. Even constituents seem less crazy. Hill People have more time to do the things they really came to the Hill to do, like gchat with their friends and take long lunches over margaritas at Tortilla Coast.

Another great part about recess is the more relaxed dress code. For normal people, this means jeans, tshirts, and sneakers. For Hill People, this is their chance to break out the blazer/button-down/jeans combo. Anything less would just be vulgar. You might also be shocked to learn that the average number of blazers owned by a Hill Person is 7. Seriously, look into it.

The best part about recess, though, is that your own personal happy hour starts a full hour earlier, so you're able to actually take advantage of those 5-7 deals that you silently curse when you're still sitting at your desk circa 6:30 PM. Ten cent wings? With an extra hour I can eat 45. $6 Bud Ice pitchers? I don't care that it tastes like stale urine. Two hours means TWICE as many.

If you see a Hill Person in the next few days, and you notice they are a little down, it's probably because they aren't in recess again until May. Eight whole weeks of real work. WTF.